My apologies again for the mistake that I made with yesterday's post. The gist of the post was accurate, but the facts were more complex than I had at first portrayed. I think I've fixed it now. Very embarrassing. Facts matter to me. 


However, let's get on with today's post. 


   

                                                                                        cichlids 


   

                                                 convict cichlids (female on left, male on right) 





Below is a a quote from Konrad Lorenz, in his book "On Aggression". Yes, the book is a bit old (1963). But it seems to me to be totally relevant to any discussion of human behavior. 

Here he is talking about his studies involving cichlids, a kind of small fish. 



 "If the male has even the slightest fear of his partner his sexuality is completely extinguished. In the female there is the same relation between aggression and sexuality: if she is so little in awe of her partner that her aggression is not entirely suppressed, she does not react to him sexually at all. She becomes a Brunhilde and attacks him the more ferociously the more potentially ready she is for sexual reactions, that is, the nearer she is to spawning, in respect of her ovarian and hormonal state." 

"Conversely, aggression and sexuality are quite compatible in the male; he can treat his partner roughly, chase her all round the tank, and between whiles perform sexual movements and all possible mixed forms of motor patterns. The female may fear the male considerably without suppression of sexually motivated behaviour patterns. The bride-to-be may flee before the male and at the same time make use of every breathing-space to perform sexually motivated courtship movements." 


"Thus the behaviour mechanism just described guarantees the pairing of two individuals of opposite sexes. In many variations, and modified by different ritualizations, this process of sex recognition and pair formation play an important part in very many vertebrates right up to man." 

(Lorenz, Konrad; On Aggression; 1963; p. 100 - 101) 



Here is a link to the complete text: 

 https://monoskop.org/images/d/d0/Lorenz_Konrad_On_Aggression_2002.pdf


Why do I bring up this theory of aggression and especially aggression between the sexes? The answer is that I see this same atavistic tendency in humans even though their behavior patterns are far more the result of cultural programming than is the case with small fish. 

Many men and women all over the world tend to find members of the opposite sex who play this game more attractive. It is also true, it seems to me, that the numbers of males still playing at the dominant role is considerably higher than the numbers of females playing the submissive one, but the big point is that the game is still among us. 

It should be obsolete. We are not fish. We're supposed to be smarter than that. 

The male dominant/female submissive game should be obsolete among humans for more primal reasons also. If we program females to be reluctant to compete with men seriously, then we rob our society of a major part of its talent pool, and we simply don't need them to act submissive and make a lot of babies in order to improve their tribe's survival odds anymore. They are far more of an asset to their nations today if they have way fewer babies, but instead become major producers of wealth.  

A nation can have more babies than it needs fairly readily these days. Smallpox is gone. Polio almost so. And so on. Babies survive fairly reliably in this century, and in the areas in which the infant mortality rates are high, even there, the numbers are dropping every year.  

We don't need more babies; we need to properly educate the ones we have, including the girls. 

Am I envisioning a globe full of intimidated, largely impotent men? Am I shrugging such a scenario off? Not at all. I think we really can get past thinking like fish or birds or any of the other vertebrates that Lorenz studied. 

Smart women are sexy. They seek a greater degree of involvement and motivation in both their partners and themselves in their sexual liaisons these days. And good on 'em for doing so. 

To be blunt, women who just lie there are not much fun. 

I think I speak on behalf of most men in the modern world when I say: 

"Oh, yes. Take the active role sometimes. Half the time. More if it suits my temperament and yours, and we talk about it openly. Let's be peers. Partners. When we are, you are sexy to me." 


In the shadow of the big tree outside your bedroom, have a lovely day.